Last Defense Writing

I have always thought about Sha-Ming's Bug defeat ending and what that means for him in the context of what the role represents, but I would like to take some time to somewhat describe my interpretations on this subject. Of course, while these are my personal thoughts, I will nevertheless be referencing various contexts from some of his other events and dialogue.

First, I believe that it is important to look at his various events and dialogue in loops where he is Gnosia. The way that Sha-Ming experiences infection expressing regret, feeling genuine distress (+ experiencing what can honestly be described as PTSD symptoms), his constant need to kill his victims "gently”.... It is very apparent that the infection is not something that Sha-Ming enjoys in the slightest, something involuntary that causes him to wish that he could have retained his humanity, he is stripped of his autonomy, essentially. The lines where he seems arrogantly pleased about eliminating humans / achieving a Gnosia win are, as per much of what Sha-Ming expresses outwardly, a contradiction to his true feelings.

With this in mind, when taking a look at his dialogue in his Bug defeat ending, we find that Sha-Ming's speech is much more unenthusiastic, notably pessimistic in tone. In English, this is read as follows:

“Hah, what a load of crap. Right, [player]? Yeah, I'm a Bug, so what? My being here means the whole universe has to go. Not that I care or anything I bet some of you don't believe it, huh? You think I'm joking? Well, just wait a second...”

Now, as opposed to Sha-Ming's usual brash and cocky way of speaking in many instances (at least, what he chooses to behave like for a smokescreen), this is not the first time that he speaks in such an uncharismatic tone. We can point to Sha-Ming Note 3 (both scene variants) and his special Gnosia defeat ending for the biggest pieces of evidence of this. The tone that he uses in the dialogue during these events are dead give-aways of the suffering that Sha-Ming is going through as a result of being Gnosia.

I think that, much like with Gnosia infection, Sha-Ming may feel a particular distress in his existence as a Bug something which should not exist. This would be pretty in-line with what we see from other crew members in loops where they are Bugs (notably Otome), but when recontextualizing Sha-Ming's Bug ending, we can actually infer some interesting points about what he might be experiencing here.

It is entirely possible that, considering his background, Sha-Ming could potentially experience a sort of disconnect from human society, having been raised with bonobos rather than people, it would be natural for Sha-Ming to adopt behavioural tendencies and psychological aspects not unlike the primates evidenced in the ways that he acts, speaks and thinks. As a result, it causes Sha-Ming to be deficient in displaying and exhibiting behavioural pattems more suited for that of a human, separated from the societal norms of humankind. Now while this is more or less getting into speculative territory on my end I believe that being a Bug in whatever world-line brings a gnawing sense of othemess in his place within human society to the forefront of Sha-Ming's mind. After all, the Bug role is representative of derealization, disparateness or existential conflicts, so it would likely not be too much of a stretch to infer this.

Thus, when applying these psychological factors as well as the feelings that arise after becoming Gnosia to Sha-Ming's Bug defeat ending, it may be safe to say that he could be experiencing such things as a Bug. And because of this the universe will be destroyed. That is what I interpret anyway, but admittedly this rambling could just be a little delusional. I hope it makes sense, anyway...?